Not Forbidden Remain (unique part)

It will be a year since I met Barnum Nilsen, through the yellow pages of Kirkeveien avenue, and he became one of my dearest memories from a not so far past.
I can remember the voice of his mind, laughing drunk, going down the street with wet books, never looking forward, maybe thinking that Fred, his stepbrother would appear suddenly, wandering alone always, and so on... I learned from him what I haven´t learned from life itself, because he was not part of what you would like to call "life", but just a passage of a quick movie, in slow motion, in the big cinema screen filled with silver microparticles. We couldn´t speak to each other, but we could tell more by just looking. I could understand everything, because his story was my story too. We both had "The Old One" by our side, like a symbol of long life and expierence, even more than "Der Rote Teufel". But she is still living. "The old one" never really died, because she´s in the same screen as us.There is no difference between life and death when your soul is taken by the world of "reflections", there is no need for it. You became a ghost since the blinding lights of cameras go through your body. Then your soul lies on a piece of paper.
Barnum once told me: From every picture, we are always being watched by the eyes of a ghost, and sometimes that ghost has our own eyes and our own face, and even our names. But, despite this we are totally strangers for each other.
And then I thought for myself: From every picture, the eye of a deep dark abyss is always watching as well.
Barnum... I can´t take you out of my mind, because my thoughts and yours are linked together.
We had the same tiny shadow, perhaps not long enough to satisfy the world. Why?
Then ask why Fred was born in a Taxi, and I will try to get an answer.
You could create the world I wanted, and you did. You took me to live with you, and it was one of the best thing that had happened through what we decided to call life.

Life is not about breathing... Life is not about talking.
Life is closer to an Opera Aria
for me...